I was going to write an epic piece about a man who upset me on multiple occasions, beginning my junior year of high school, but in a funny way that is ultimately why I have never read STEPPENWOLF by Herman Hesse in its entirety, but then realized that if I post this journal entry to fb and we have mutual friends, he might see it someday & that would be embarrassing to me and also I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make him feel defensive. I would rather quietly sink into the night with my resentment. But it made me reflect on my general fear of THE INTERNET, which sometimes affects me and sometimes does not.
Say, for instance, I have a literary book client person who tweets a thing – that is a hilarious thing – but is about a bestselling author from her personal Twitter account with her actual name on it. So people can and will keep the receipts. & I am so proud of her because so brave, so brave. Also I am scared for her because she’s not published yet, and I just want to protect her, protect my writers. And my beautiful friend Alexandra (because it will be her in this entirely hypothetical scenario) tells me, “Uh, I think she’s okay, you’re momming a bit right now.” And she will not be wrong.
And also I will think, what if no one RTs this tweet, what if it goes unRTed, seemingly unnoticed, by everyone but me. Then what if she becomes a bestselling author one day, say, 10 years from now, and she meets this current bestselling author & is so excited to meet this person (who is a GREAT author but also a bit problematic and not great at taking criticism). And that person says, “I saw that tweet you tweeted 10 years ago that said I wasn’t cool.”
And then they have a fight. Probably at a publishing gala where awards are being presented, champagne is thrown. Literally everyone says something they regret. And twitter’s not around anymore (CROSS YOUR FINGERS), but some other social media is, probably through some evil Google Apple hybrid that’s about to trigger the apocalypse, the world currency is now bitcoins. WHAT WILL THEY SAY ABOUT THIS DRAMA?
Anyway, this is a fear of mine, but also a secret dream (minus the tech apocalypse).
Let it be.